Onward!

Some of the stuff people post as fanfiction isn't even a story (which shouldn't be a surprise to you). This goes to show how idiotic strange some people can be. I mean with this, does anyone really care?

This is actually kind of funny. (But that may be my mind working off a history exam overload.)

However, this is one of those fics that makes you want to install a "slap" button. Another person who hasn't found the spell-check button

Now that that's out of the way-here's a Sue.

Story Or Series Title: The Protector
Fandom: The-Boy-Who-Lived-And-Is-Just-Fine-Without-A-Protector (thank you very much)
Culprit Author's Name: Modesty and Madison twins

Full Name (plus titles if any): Angel
Full Species(es): Protector!Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): "She has brown long hair and different colored streaks" sounds lovely to me
Eye Color (include adjectives): "her eyes change color everyday"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "Her blood is white instead of red"
Special Possessions (if any): her golden staff, her wand,

Annoying Origin: "She is one of the powerfulest girls in the universe. She is daughter to Godric Gryffindor Rowena Ravenclaw Salazar Slytherin and Helga Hufflepuff and Merlin. How so? Well they got together and realized they needed a daughter also but not the heir just a daughter. They did a spell and in a flash of light a young baby girl appeared. They trained her for long time. Till they died. But she is immortal and protects Hogwarts. She is 3093156 years old!" yep, you read that right
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Protector of Hogwarts, and see origin
Annoying Special Abilities: "She is one of the powerfulest girls in the universe."
Other Annoying Traits: existing

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Leave Snape alone!
11 years later.......

Severus Snape sat at his desk doing paperwork from Dumbledore when he heard an odd squishing noise coming towards his door. He looked up confused then he saw Angel walk in.

But she was in a muggle diving suit and breathing harshly with it on. She had a wand in her hand. She looked at him.

"Severus I am your mother...." She breathed. Severus rolled his eyes. "Did you get it?" He asked. She nodded and handed him his wand which hand been 'accidentaly' thrown in the lake by Angel. And he had made her go and retrieve it. Which she had been more that happy to.

"I dont see why you didnt use a simple charm to make you breathe. You the powerfullest girl I know and you had to go to a muggle shop to buy all this!" He exclaimed pointing at the suit.

"Because Severus I needed to see if it really worked. And dont question your mother!" She said.

"Well MOTHER the students will be here soon so you better change! And clean up the mess you made!" He snarled at her. She rolled her eyes and in a flash of light she was in her regular white robes and the puddle of water had disappeared.

"Anyway Severus Albus said that all teachers in the Great Hall the students will be here." She said cheerfully Severus stood up and shoved past her.

"How rude!" She said pouting and followed him.

Thankfully this story looks like it won't be updated any time soon. However, the authors are the creators of this, which is Lord of the Rings put into the Potterverse. For your amusement, I'll put the list of characters.

Frodo Baggins - Harry Potter

Sam Gamgee - Ron Weasley

Merry Brandybuck - Fred Weasley

Pippin Took - George Weasley

Aragorn - Sirius Black

Gandalf - Albus Dumbledore

Sauron - Lord Voldemort

Saruman - Alberforth(sp?) Dumbledore(dont ask)

Rosie Cotton - Lavender Brown

Bilbo Baggins - Mirnerva Mcgonagall(once again..dont ask)

Mr Butterbur - Tom the innkeeper at Leaky Cauldron

Elrond - Remus Lupin(*sigh* Weird huh?)

Arwen - Arabella Fig (pretend she's young and pretty!)

Legolas - Draco Malfoy(*drools*)

Gimli - Neville Longbottom(*shakes head*)

Boromir - Severus Snape (*drools again*)

Galadriel - Hermione Granger(*laughs hystercally*)

Celeborn - Victor Krum (*giggles*)

Haldir - (as much as I hate it) Lucius Malfoy (hey he's pretty sexy!)

Gollum/Smeagol - (*HAHA!*) Dobby the houself

Isildur(sp?) - Orion( we own him! He's ours! Not Isildur bur Orion! Yaaaa!)

I do not think that words can express my pain.